Chaos in Middle Earth
by Risty and Silver
Summary: Silver, Risty, Risty's cousins, Billy, a baby and a dog get thrown into Middle Earth. Contains a lot of humour and a bit of mild romance here and there. Rated for a lot of swearing. Please R&R! *totally revised*
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own anything to do with LotR and I don't own any of the original people in this. I just own myself.  
  
Summary: Me, my two co-writers, my baby brother and my dog get thrown into Middle Earth. Complete chaos follows. No real romance or anything, just a lot of humour. Written for my sister Lucy. You owe me one, kid!  
  
Middle Earth in Chaos  
  
It all began as just a normal evening in England. Silver, the sixteen-year- old girl, and her best friend Billy, who was eighteen, were babysitting for Silver's baby brother Jack. Jack was refusing to go to sleep, so Billy was walking backwards and forwards rocking the baby in his arms. Silver's dog, Shadow, was lying under the computer desk, fast asleep.  
  
"What time are your parents coming back, Silver?" Billy asked. "If I rock this little bugger much more, I think my arms are going to drop off"  
  
"I don't know" Silver glanced at the clock, which now read 10:30. "Before midnight, hopefully"  
  
"Well there has to be something else you can do with him," Billy said, with a sigh. "How about putting your computer on and letting him play around with the key board or something?"  
  
"Yeah okay" Silver agreed. "I can go and read some more fics on Fanfiction.Net then"  
  
"You and your bloody stories" Billy muttered as Silver switched on her computer. "If you aren't reading them, you're writing them. How's Risty anyway? You two still co-writing?"  
  
"Yeah, of course" Silver took Jack from Billy and sat him on her lap. He started pressing the keys and laughing. Silver just managed to distract him enough to get to the Lord of the Rings fanfic section, and then while he pushed the keys, she scanned down the page with Billy leaning over her shoulder.  
  
"Hey, that one looks good" Billy muttered sarcastically, pointing to a story about a girl who got thrown into Middle Earth. "You can just imagine it, can't you?"  
  
"Yeah" Silver agreed. "One minute you are doing something completely normal and the next." She trailed off and clicked on the link. As she did, Jack hit the enter key.  
  
Before any of them knew what was happening, there was a bright flash of light, so bright that the two teenagers had to close their eyes. When they opened them again, they saw a shocking sight.  
  
"Oh crap" Billy muttered, looking at the trees around him. "I don't think we are in your living room any more, Silver. It looks like we are in the middle of a forest"  
  
"Jack" Silver glanced down at the baby in her arms. "What did you do?" Jack just giggled. Shadow whined and pressed against Billy's leg. Suddenly he pricked up his ears and growled.  
  
"I think something is coming" Silver whispered, holding Jack tightly in one hand and clinging to Billy's jacket with the other. "Suppose it's a wild animal or something?"  
  
"Shadow will protect us," Billy said with a shrug. Silver laughed.  
  
"Believe me," she told him. "Shadow couldn't protect a paper bag"  
  
Much to their relief it wasn't a wild animal coming through the trees. It was actually a very familiar person. Well, make that four familiar people.  
  
"Risty!" Silver yelled, recognizing her co-writer immediately. "Over here!"  
  
Risty saw them and came running over with the other three people, who Silver recognised as Charlie, Rhian and Col, Risty's cousins.  
  
"Silver, Billy, I'm so glad to see you" she said relieved. "How did you get here?"  
  
"Through my computer" Silver said quietly. "We clicked on a link and all wound up here"  
  
"We did the same," Risty told them. "And I think I know where we are. I think we could be in Middle Earth"  
  
"No way" Billy shook his head. "Not possible"  
  
"So where are we, Mr Smart ass?" Silver challenged him. "Nothing is really impossible for fanfiction writers, you've told me that enough times"  
  
"Alright, alright" Billy held up his hands in defeat. "Maybe we are, maybe we aren't. But maybe it's time to do a bit of exploring to try and find some clues as to where we are and how we can get home" 


	2. Chapter 2

Middle Earth in Chaos  
  
By Risty and Silver  
  
Disclaimer: Please Mr. Tolkien? Pretty please? Drat.  
  
Summary: Seriously, you dun wanna know.  
  
AN: Col is not deaf in this fic, upon request...  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Risty, Rhian, Charile and Col who had just walked through the door of Risty's house, home from school and turned on the computer were surprised to find she was now in the middle of a forest. The girls were still in the blue checked skirt, white blouse, maroon jumper; white socks and black shoes, and the boys were still in thir slate grey 'King Gee' shots, light blue button shits, white socks and black shoes which served as their school uniform. They were even still carrying their school backpacks, which had the girls leotards and ballet slippers, and Risty's flute case inside as well as a folder of lists, schoolbooks and a pencil case. Rhian was still carrying her violin case. Charlie was still carrying his guitar case and backpack, which contained his leotard and Col was carrying his backpack that had his leotard. All four did dance classes and were practicing for the end of year school play, which was suppose to be Copelia. Risty had the honour of playing Copelia.  
  
They heard a rustling in the bushes and peeped out, a little afraid.  
  
"Risty!" cried a voice and Silver came running forward with Billy, her little brother Jack and her dog, Shadow.  
  
"Silver, Billy! What's going on? One minute we were switching on my computer, then a moment later we're standing in a forest."  
  
"We have no idea. We just got sucked into our computer."  
  
"Us too, no doubt...wonder what's going on..."  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Hey, does this forest look familiar to any of you?" Asked Col, looking around.  
  
"Billy reckons it's Middle Earth." Said Silver.  
  
"Yes, hold on, it is," said Charlie. "Remember those?" He pointed up and the small group looked up and gasped. There stood three monstrous stone trolls.  
  
After the initial shock wore off, they began wandering to where they thought Rivendell would be. They were chatting about the latest chapters that Silver and Risty had put up on their story. Suddenly, they heard a familiar voice.  
  
"Who goes there!?" called the voice.  
  
Charlie stepped forward, hoping to catch a glimpse of the speaker.  
  
"Come into the light, and we will tell you." He said, bravely. A pair of feet stepped into the light and an elf stood there, bow at the ready. It was Legolas.  
  
"Legolas? Legolas Greenleaf?" Risty asked, surprised. Legolas lowered his bow a little.  
  
"How, pray tell, do you know my name, ma'am?"  
  
"Oh just a guess."  
  
"Who are you? And what are you doing here?"  
  
"I...Uh...we...Oh I don't know."  
  
"From the looks of your strange clothing, you are unarmed." Legolas called over his shoulder. "It is all right! They are unarmed!"  
  
Out of the wooded area came a Dwarf, four hobbits, a human and what looked to be a wizard. But Risty couldn't tell. After them, came two twin elves.  
  
"Elladan and Elrohir." said Silver, under her breath.  
  
"Come, strangers from the far north, we will take you to Rivendell." Gandalf the old Wizard, said.  
  
The fellowship and the two elves led them on their way. 


	3. Chapter 3

Middle Earth in Chaos  
  
By Risty and Silver  
  
Disclaimer: Please Mr. Tolkien? Pretty please? Drat.  
  
Summary: Seriously, you dun wanna know.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
"Listen" Silver whispered as they followed the fellowship through the forest. "Are you sure that this is such a good idea?"  
  
"What do you mean, Silver?" Billy asked, sounding rather confused. Silver sighed.  
  
"I mean," she said impatiently. "I know that we have all read the books at least once and we've all seen the film, but Middle Earth should not really exist. It was invented, not discovered. So what are we doing here following a bunch of weird people through a forest at dusk?"  
  
"Well until we've found out what has gone wrong," Risty said with a shrug. "I think we should stick with them. I don't like the look of some of them, but the hobbits are awfully cute. Especially Frodo and Pippin."  
  
"Here we go" Silver looked at Billy and rolled her eyes. "She would probably jump of a cliff if you pushed Frodo off first."  
  
Risty's cousins giggled.  
  
"Hey, you're one to talk" Risty said playfully. "You're the one who is obsessed with Boromir, remember? And Elrond."  
  
"Obsessed?" Silver shook her head. "Risty, obsessed is such a strong word."  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
Gimli turned round to see what all the arguing was about and Shadow barked at him. Then Jack started to cry, quietly at first and then louder and louder, until it became an ear-piercing scream. They all stopped and the fellowship turned to see what the matter was.  
  
"Please make it stop" Elladan begged, his hands over his ears. "It is very hard on our sensitive elven ears. Right brother? Legolas?"  
  
"Yes" the two elves agreed. Silver glared at them.  
  
"And how the hell am I supposed to make him stop?" she demanded. "He's scared, tired and hungry and he wants his mum. He may stop if we keep walking, but in the meantime you'll just bloody well have to put up with it."  
  
"What are these funny words they use, Gandalf?" Pippin asked, pulling at the wizard's sleeve. "Hell and bloody, I mean. I have never heard them before."  
  
"Well." Gandalf thought for a minute, but did not seem able to come up with a satisfactory answer. "Let us move on quickly shall we?" he said finally, in a feeble attempt to change the subject. "Lord Elrond will be expecting us."  
  
"And maybe he can find out how the hell we got here and how to send us back" Silver said quickly. "Because I do not care whether this is Middle Earth or fucking Las Vegas, I am not staying here one moment longer than I have to."  
  
"But Silver." Risty started. Billy nudged her and shook his head.  
  
"We'll argue about this later, Risty" he said quietly. "Silver has enough to deal with at the moment, with trying to look after Jack. Later, eh?"  
  
"All right" Risty hesitated and nodded. Gimli turned round again and Shadow barked loudly. The deep sound echoed and most of the fellowship looked vaguely alarmed at the sudden noise.  
  
"And what is wrong with that thing?" Elrohir asked. "Can't you make that be quiet at least?"  
  
"He isn't a thing" Silver said angrily. "He's my dog and his name is Shadow."  
  
Risty and her cousins joined in glaring.  
  
"Fine then" Elrohir said sarcastically. "Can you please make Shadow be quiet?"  
  
"Easy" Billy said before Silver could reply. "Tell the dwarf to stop looking round. Either his face or his smell is irritating Shadow and making him bark."  
  
"Why you little." Gimli gripped his axe and turned to glare at Billy. However, as he did, Shadow growled so loudly that Silver, Risty, her cousins, Billy, Jack, Gimli and the hobbits all jumped. When they had recovered from their shock, everyone started laughing, all except Gimli who pushed past the hobbits to get to the front of the group with Gandalf.  
  
Just as Silver had managed to calm both Jack and Shadow down, a large palace type place came into view. The six friends gasped, it looked so much better than it had in the film. Gandalf turned to smile at them.  
  
"It is indeed very beautiful, isn't it?" he said. "That, my friends, is Rivendell. The home of Lord Elrond who you will meet very shortly." 


	4. Chapter 4

Chaos in Middle Earth  
  
By Silver15 and Risty Maskell  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own 'em. Summary: I dunno.  
  
***  
  
"No fucking way." said Risty, trailing off as she looked at the splendid house. "You have got to be kidding me."  
  
"Kidding? I don't think so, Risty." Silver said, also in awe.  
  
When they arrived in the house, Risty and Rhian smirked at Silver, who looked like she was about to faint when she saw Elrond. Elrond, however, didn't seem to notice the looks given to him and raised his hands in a welcoming gesture.  
  
"Hello strangers from a distant land. Pray tell, what are you doing in Middle Earth?"  
  
"We have no idea. We just appeared here." Billy said, shrugging.  
  
"We were minding our own business, and *poof* we suddenly arrived here." Charlie added.  
  
Elrond frowned. "News has come to me that seven strangers, and an animal of sorts were in the forest. Please tell me, what do you do?"  
  
"What do you mean, what do we do? For an occupation or what?" Asked Risty. "By the way, is there a spare room around here where we can change into our leotards?" She asked, indicating her cousins and herself.  
  
"Leotard? What is a leotard?" asked Frodo, innocently.  
  
"A suit for dancing, shorty, don't you know anything?" Said Silver, looking completely irritated.  
  
Elrond raised a hand and an elf maid led Risty, Rhian, Charlie and Col to a small room off to the side of the hall. They looked at her thankfully and slipped inside.  
  
Meanwhile, Silver succeeded in cheering Jack up. Risty had left her bag with them, while she got changed into her dance clothes. She had a water bottle of juice in her school bag from lunch and a leftover peanut butter sandwich. Jack seemed happier, now that he had something in his stomach. The four came out of the small room, dressed in a full black leotards, ankle and wrist length, with shirts over it. Ristys shirt sported a wolf with green eyes, Rhian's shirt had a growling rotweiler with gold eyes on the front and on the back it stated: 'Back off, the bitch bites', Charlie had a shirt with the 'CATS' logo on the front and Col had a shirt with a running horse on it.  
  
"Please tell me, what are these costumes used for?" asked Elrond, as the rest of the fellowship gawked at the teenagers thin frames.  
  
"Dancing. We do ballet and tap and jazz ballet. They are types of dancing." Risty pirouetted and began to dance to an unknown beat. She finished in the splits, leaning back, with her back foot touching her head. Even Silver and Billy had to gawk. Charlie, Rhian and Col all sniggered.  
  
Silver began to clap, followed by Billy, Frodo and the rest of the fellowship. Elrond looked impressed. "Lady, there is a splendid dinner tonight in honour of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn who are arriving soon. Would you dance tonight? I think they will be impressed."  
  
Risty grinned, getting up from her position. "Sure. I'd love to." Silver and Billy grinned, and Risty had an idea.  
  
"If Silver and Billy have special talents, maybe they can do something as well. I feel very rude to be asked to do something and my friends are not."  
  
"Why not?" smiled Elrond. "A wonderful idea. Lady Silver, can you do anything special for tonight's dinner?"  
  
"I-I don't know. Billy? What do you think?"  
  
"It'd be cool, I think. Let's do it."  
  
A little later, Risty, Rhian and Silver were showed to a room, which they were sharing. Billy, Charlie and Col had been taken to another room. Risty and Rhian was stretching for tonight's performance. Risty was lying on her stomach, her feet either side of her head. She was reading a book, looking as though it wasn't painful, which, to her well trained body, it wasn't. RHian was using the stone window sill as a makeshift barre. Silver kept looking at them and wincing.  
  
"How on earth can you do that without hurting yourself?"  
  
"Practice." said Risty, turning a page in her book. She looked up and grinned. "If you want to see something even more gross, I can sit on my ass and put both ankles behind my head."  
  
Silver winced again. Risty and Rhian laughed.  
  
"What do you think of the fellowship?" Rhian asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Frodo and Pippin cute."  
  
"Why do I bother asking?" Rhian asked, rolling her eyes at Silver, who giggled.  
  
"Ahem, Frodo and Pippin are cute.All the hobbits are cute. I mean, well you know. Aragorn and Legolas, well I'll leave them to Billy." Her eyes twinkled with amusement. Silver slapped her knee. "And as for Gandalf and Gimli.I think I've read ENOUGH of FF.net, namely Loony's chat room fic, to think 'Eww, bad mental image.' Elladan and Elrohir are cute. I dunno yet. as for Elrond, you'd kill me if I went after him."  
  
"I claim Elladan and Elrohir!" Rhian said.  
  
"You suck."  
  
"No, I swallow and I spit. But I don't suck." Rhian's eyebrows waggled mischievously. Silver suddenly got the sick thought and burst into a fit of giggles.  
  
"You are deranged in the head." She said, after calming down.  
  
"But then again.isn't everybody these days?" Risty and Rhian continued stretching and Silver shook her head. This was going to be an amusing trip. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chaos in Middle Earth  
  
By Silver15 and Risty Maskell  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own 'em.  
  
Summary: I dunno.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Just as Silver went to stop Jack pulling everything out of one of the cupboards, Billy, Charlie and Col came in. Billy winced when he saw the strange position Risty was lying in, then sat on Silver's bed and began to stroke Shadow.  
  
"You know something you guys," he said seriously. "We've all read the LotR books and we've all seen the movie, right?"  
  
"Yeah" Silver briefly looked at him and gave a yell as Jack sunk his teeth into her finger. Upon hearing her cry of pain, Jack began to giggle hard.  
  
"Well" Billy continued. "This might be me just forgetting things, but I don't believe that there was a dinner in honour of Galadriel and Celeborn in the books. Was there?"  
  
"I don't think so," Risty said after a moment. "Hey, that is weird."  
  
"Do you think that us being here has screwed everything up?" Silver asked. "I mean this means that we don't know everything that is going to happen. I just hope that we don't get dragged along with the fellowship on their dangerous quest. Hell, I doubt we'll get home alive if that happened."  
  
"Oh don't be such a spoilsport" Risty muttered good-naturedly. "It could be fun. Right Billy?"  
  
Charlie and Col nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"Don't drag me into this" Billy held up his hands and Shadow jumped at him, knocking him back onto his back. "If we had to go with them, well I wouldn't complain too much.as long as someone was willing to teach me how to use a sword. But I can also understand Silver's point of view, after all she does have Jack to look after and he is a right handful. You cannot take a ten-month-old baby on a quest across Middle Earth. Still at least she has Shadow with her. I just wish Laddie were here."  
  
"Laddie would be a damn sight more useful at protecting us then Shadow" Silver started to say. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light and when it had disappeared, Billy's German Shepard should in front of them. He barked and threw himself on Billy, who found himself being pawed to death by both dogs. Silver, Rhian, Col, Charlie and Risty looked amazed.  
  
"How did that happen?" Silver wondered aloud. "Let's see if it will work again. I wish Sean Bean was here." She waited a moment, but nothing happened.  
  
"Too bad, Silver" Billy smirked, sitting up and pushing the dogs off him. "Well now we have a mad dog and a guard dog. Shadow can keep Gimli in line and Laddie can murder anything that looks even the least bit dangerous. I just wonder how Elrond is going to adjust to two dogs wandering about the place."  
  
"And I'm just wondering why the hell we agreed to do something at this dinner tonight" Silver muttered in despair. "Billy the only talents I have are in karate and story writing and I haven't done karate for over a year. What am I supposed to do?"  
  
"Well we have a few hours" Billy shrugged. "Just write them a short story. Something about dragons and trolls and stuff. They'll like that. More to the point, what am I supposed to do? I'm pretty good at sport, but I don't think that is going to be much use here."  
  
"You are pretty good at singing" Silver said. Risty and Rhian started laughing and Billy blushed. "No I mean it" Silver said seriously. "He can do lots of songs and he doesn't need the music either. You could sing for them."  
  
"All right" Billy nodded. "Sounds good. What am I singing?"  
  
"Um." Silver thought for a moment. "Sing 'Brother My Brother'. That's an easy song and it's a nice one too. Or you could always sing the Poddington Peas theme song" she continued with a grin. "Jack likes that."  
  
"Piss off" Billy grinned back at her. "Right then, I had better go and practise my song, hadn't I?"  
  
"I think that might be a good idea," Risty agreed. "And Silver, hadn't you better get started on your story?"  
  
Billy disappeared off to the boys room, Charlie, Col and Laddie in tow. Jack had fallen asleep so Silver put him down on her bed with Shadow and took out the notebook and pen she carried at all times. The girls could hear Billy begin to sing while Charlie strummed his guitar. Risty smiled at her and carried on reading as Silver started scribbling away, muttering under her breath. It was completely peaceful until Merry and Pippin looked around the door... 


	6. Chapter 6

Chaos in Middle Earth  
  
By Risty and Silver  
  
Disclaimer: You already know  
  
Summary: Hell, ask Silver.  
  
*****  
  
Risty was reading 'I capture the Castle' when she heard a snickering behind the door. Rhian was reading the Australian Bush Poem that she and Risty were to perform. In yet another weird position, Risty looked up and caught Merry and Pippin just sneaking out.  
  
"Okay, guys, jokes up. Merry Pippin. Get in here now."  
  
Silver looked up as Merry and Pippin, looking slightly guilty, came into sight and raised an eyebrow and put a finger to her lips, motioning to Jack. The two hobbits nodded.  
  
"And, please tell, why were you spying on us?" Rhian asked, looking up from the poem book.  
  
"We're curious." Said Merry, as if that explained everything. "We wanted to see what you were doing."  
  
"Great." Said Risty, getting into the position with her ankles behind her neck. She closed her book, put her hands on the floor and lifted herself, using her hands and using herself as a weight. "And what were you going to do with that bucket of water you've got there?"  
  
"Uhh, nothing."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Guys, Shhh. You'll wake Jack." Said Silver, grinning at Risty. Risty grinned from her position and got out of it. Merry looked disgusted. Pippin, amused. Rhian snuck up behind them and slipped two rubber spiders in heir pockets.  
  
"How do you do that?" asked Merry, a little green.  
  
"Practice, short-stuff. Man. . . I wish Bindi and Buster were here . . . I miss my dogs so much." No sooner had Risty said that, her two border collies flashed into view and bounded over to her. Risty laughed and got knocked down.  
  
"You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you?" Rhian giggled.  
  
"Looks like we have a small army of dogs, now." Said Silver as Bindi and Buster began to meet 'n' greet with Shadow.  
  
"Remember, Bindi and Buster are certified Sniffer dogs. Bindi, find!"  
  
Bindi jumped to the order and sniffed all around, before sitting in front of Merry, pawing at his pocket.  
  
"Okay, Merry, what have you got in your pocket?" Merry blushed and pulled out the rubber spider. He looked at it and shrieked, before high-tailing it out of the room. Risty laughed and called Bindi to her. "Good dog."  
  
****  
  
Later, at the dinner, Billy, Silver, Col, Charlie, Rhian and Risty sat side by side at a big table. At the head sat Elrond, Galadriel, Celeborn, Arwen, Elladan and Elrohir. An elf maid had offered to look after Jack, to which Silver obliged.  
  
Elrond got up and called a silence.  
  
"Six people have somehow appeared in Middle Earth. While they are here, they agreed to do things for this dinner. May I please announce Master Billy, Lady Silver, Master Col, Master Charlie and Lady Risty."  
  
There was polite applause and Risty and Rhian got up first. They curtsied to Celeborn and Galadriel. In the black leotards, which they had akubras and cotton flannelette shirts over the top, Their hair was down. Risty pressed a button on the tiny tape deck that she kept in her bag and country sounds like kookaburras and wind in the trees began, but were soon drowned out by the dull roar of what seemed to be a bush fire. She had explained the contraption to Elrond. The cousins began the poem.  
  
"The bush fire. By Henry Lawson." Rhian said. Risty began. Rhian was to do the different peoples voices.  
  
"Ah, better the thud of the deadly gun, and the crash of the bursting shell,  
  
Than the terrible silence where drought is fought out there in the western hell;  
  
And better the rattle of rifles near, or thunder on deck at sea,  
  
Than the sound - most hellish of all to hear - of a fire where it should not be.  
  
On the runs to the to the west of the Dingo Scrubs there was drought, and ruin and death,  
  
And the sandstorm came from the dread north-east with the blast of a furnace breath;  
  
Till at last one day, at the fierce sunrise, a boundary-rider woke,  
  
And saw, in the place of the distant haze, a curtain of light-blue smoke.  
  
There is saddling-up by the cockey's hut, and out in the station yard,  
  
And away to the north, northeast, northwest, the Bushmen are riding hard.  
  
The pickets are out and many a scout, and many a mulga wire,  
  
While Bill and Jim, their faces grim, are riding to meet the fire.  
  
It roars for days in the hopeless scrubs, and across, where the ground seems bare,  
  
With a cackle and hiss, like the hissing of snakes, the fire is travelling there;  
  
Till at last, exhausted by sleeplessness, and the terrible toil and heat, The squatter is crying,"  
  
"My God! The wool!" Rhian said in a panicked voice.  
  
"And the farmer,"  
  
"My God! The wheat!"  
  
"But there comes a drunkard (who reels as he rides), with the news from the roadside pub:"  
  
"Pat Murphy - the cockey - cut off by the fire! - Way back in the Dingo Scrub!  
  
Let the wheat and woolshed go to -" Rhian cut off.  
  
"Well, they do as each great heart bids;  
  
They are riding a race for the Dingo Scrub - for Pat and his wife and kids.  
  
And who is leading the race with death? An ill matched three, you'll allow:  
  
Flash Jim the breaker and Boozing Bill (who is riding steadily now),  
  
And Constable Dunn, of the Mounted Police, is riding between the two  
  
(He wants Flash Jim, but the job can wait till they get the Murphys through).  
  
As they strike the track through the blazing scrub, the trooper is heard to shout:"  
  
"We'll take them on to the Two-Mile tank, if we cannot bring them out!" Rhian cried.  
  
"A half mile more, and the rest rein back, retreating, half choked, half blind;  
  
And the three are gone from the sight of men, and the bush fire roars behind.  
  
The Bushman wiped the tears of smoke, and like Bushmen wept and swore;"  
  
"Poor Bill will be wanting his drink tonight as never he did before.  
  
And Dunn was the best in the whole damned force!" Rhian said.  
  
"Says a client of Dunn's, with pride;  
  
I reckon he'll serve his summons on Jim - when they get to the other side.  
  
It is daylight again, and the fire is past, and the black scrub silent and grim,  
  
Except for the blaze of an old dead tree, or the crash of a falling limb;  
  
And the Bushmen are riding again on the run, with hearts and eyes that fill,  
  
To look for the bodies of Constable Dunn, Flash Jim and Boozing Bill.  
  
They are found in the mud of the Two-Mile Tank, where a fiend might scarce survive,  
  
But the Bushmen gather from words they hear that the bodies are much alive.  
  
There is Swearing Pat, with his grey beard singed, and his language of lurid hue,  
  
And his tough old wife, and his half-baked kids, and the three who dragged them through.  
  
Old Pat is deploring his burnt-out home, and his wife, the climate warm;  
  
And Jim the loss of his favourite horse, and Dunn his uniform;  
  
And Boozing Bill, with a raging thirst, is cursing the Dingo Scrub -  
  
He'll only ask the loan of a flask and a lift to the nearest pub.  
  
Flash Jim the Breaker is lying low - blue-paper is after him,  
  
And Dunn, the trooper, is riding his rounds with a blind eye out for Jim,  
  
And Boozing Bill is fighting D.T's. in the township of Sudden Jerk -  
  
When they're wanted again in the Dingo Scrubs, they'll be there to do the work."  
  
Rhian and Risty bowed as the applause was polite but tremendous. They began to smile, then grinned, curtsied and sat back down.  
  
"Now," Risty said, taking a sip of water. "Charlie and Col will recite the old favourite from our country. 'The Man From Snowy River'." She bowed again and her cousins got up to a round of applause.  
  
"'The Man From Snowy River." Charlie said.  
  
"By A.B. 'Banjo' Patterson." Col added.  
  
"It's more of a story." Charlie warned and the two launched into the poem.  
  
"There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around  
  
That the colt from old Regret had got away,  
  
And had joined the wild bush horses -- he was worth a thousand pound,  
  
So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.  
  
All the tried and noted riders from the stations near and far  
  
Had mustered at the homestead overnight,  
  
For the bushmen love hard riding where the wild bush horses are,  
  
And the stock-horse snuffs the battle with delight." Charlie said.  
  
"There was Harrison, who made his pile when Pardon won the cup,  
  
The old man with his hair as white as snow;  
  
But few could ride beside him when his blood was fairly up -  
  
He would go wherever horse and man could go.  
  
And Clancy of the Overflow came down to lend a hand,  
  
No better horseman ever held the reins;  
  
For never horse could throw him while the saddle-girths would stand,  
  
He learnt to ride while droving on the plains." Col continued. The brothers kept swapping over and over.  
  
"And one was there, a stripling on a small and weedy beast,  
  
He was something like a racehorse undersized,  
  
With a touch of Timor pony -- three parts thoroughbred at least -  
  
And such as are by mountain horsemen prized.  
  
He was hard and tough and wiry -- just the sort that won't say die -  
  
There was courage in his quick impatient tread;  
  
And he bore the badge of gameness in his bright and fiery eye,  
  
And the proud and lofty carriage of his head." Charlie said, tipping his hat at Risty. It was obvious he had feelings for her. She giggled.  
  
"But still so slight and weedy, one would doubt his power to stay,  
  
And the old man said, "That horse will never do  
  
For a long and tiring gallop -- lad, you'd better stop away,  
  
Those hills are far too rough for such as you."  
  
So he waited sad and wistful -- only Clancy stood his friend -  
  
"I think we ought to let him come," he said;  
  
"I warrant he'll be with us when he's wanted at the end,  
  
For both his horse and he are mountain bred."" Col said, not noticing Charlie's obvious attempts to get their cousins attention.  
  
""He hails from Snowy River, up by Kosciusko's side,  
  
Where the hills are twice as steep and twice as rough,  
  
Where a horse's hoofs strike firelight from the flint stones every stride,  
  
The man that holds his own is good enough.  
  
And the Snowy River riders on the mountains make their home,  
  
Where the river runs those giant hills between;  
  
I have seen full many horsemen since I first commenced to roam,  
  
But nowhere yet such horsemen have I seen."" Charlie said.  
  
"So he went -- they found the horses by the big mimosa clump -  
  
They raced away towards the mountain's brow,  
  
And the old man gave his orders, "Boys, go at them from the jump,  
  
No use to try for fancy riding now.  
  
And, Clancy, you must wheel them, try and wheel them to the right.  
  
Ride boldly, lad, and never fear the spills,  
  
For never yet was rider that could keep the mob in sight,  
  
If once they gain the shelter of those hills."" Col continued.  
  
"So Clancy rode to wheel them -- he was racing on the wing  
  
Where the best and boldest riders take their place,  
  
And he raced his stock-horse past them, and he made the ranges ring  
  
With the stockwhip, as he met them face to face.  
  
Then they halted for a moment, while he swung the dreaded lash,  
  
But they saw their well-loved mountain full in view,  
  
And they charged beneath the stockwhip with a sharp and sudden dash,  
  
And off into the mountain scrub they flew." Charlie said.  
  
"Then fast the horsemen followed, where the gorges deep and black  
  
Resounded to the thunder of their tread,  
  
And the stockwhips woke the echoes, and they fiercely answered back  
  
From cliffs and crags that beetled overhead.  
  
And upward, ever upward, the wild horses held their way,  
  
Where mountain ash and kurrajong grew wide;  
  
And the old man muttered fiercely, "We may bid the mob good day,  
  
No man can hold them down the other side."" Col carried on.  
  
"When they reached the mountain's summit, even Clancy took a pull,  
  
It well might make the boldest hold their breath,  
  
The wild hop scrub grew thickly, and the hidden ground was full  
  
Of wombat holes, and any slip was death.  
  
But the man from Snowy River let the pony have his head,  
  
And he swung his stockwhip round and gave a cheer,  
  
And he raced him down the mountain like a torrent down its bed,  
  
While the others stood and watched in very fear." Charlie said.  
  
"He sent the flint stones flying, but the pony kept his feet,  
  
He cleared the fallen timber in his stride,  
  
And the man from Snowy River never shifted in his seat -  
  
It was grand to see that mountain horseman ride.  
  
Through the stringy barks and saplings, on the rough and broken ground,  
  
Down the hillside at a racing pace he went;  
  
And he never drew the bridle till he landed safe and sound,  
  
At the bottom of that terrible descent." Col said.  
  
"He was right among the horses as they climbed the further hill,  
  
And the watchers on the mountain standing mute,  
  
Saw him ply the stockwhip fiercely, he was right among them still,  
  
As he raced across the clearing in pursuit.  
  
Then they lost him for a moment, where two mountain gullies met  
  
In the ranges, but a final glimpse reveals  
  
On a dim and distant hillside the wild horses racing yet,  
  
With the man from Snowy River at their heels." Charlie said.  
  
"And he ran them single-handed till their sides were white with foam.  
  
He followed like a bloodhound on their track,  
  
Till they halted cowed and beaten, then he turned their heads for home,  
  
And alone and unassisted brought them back.  
  
But his hardy mountain pony he could scarcely raise a trot,  
  
He was blood from hip to shoulder from the spur;  
  
But his pluck was still undaunted, and his courage fiery hot,  
  
For never yet was mountain horse a cur." Col said.  
  
"And down by Kosciusko, where the pine-clad ridges raise  
  
Their torn and rugged battlements on high,  
  
Where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze  
  
At midnight in the cold and frosty sky,  
  
And where around the Overflow the reedbeds sweep and sway  
  
To the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide,  
  
The man from Snowy River is a household word to-day,  
  
And the stockmen tell the story of his ride." They finished the poem together. They took a bow to applause. Col sat down in between Rhian and Silver and Charlie sat next to Risty.  
  
Billy got up next . . .  
  
A/N: Yes, yes, yes. Me and Charlie are going out. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chaos in Middle Earth By Silver15, Billy and Risty Maskell Disclaimer: We don't own 'em. And the song that Billy sings in this chapter, well we don't own that either. Summary: I dunno. A/N: Billy wrote some of this chapter, that's why it took me so long to get it up. Thanks Billy. *********************************************************************** Billy stood up and very nearly started laughing. He wasn't bothered about people looking at him, unlike Silver he was not the shy type, but he found it rather amusing to be singing a song while a group of elves, hobbits and humans in warrior clothes sat looking at him. "Can I borrow your tape player?" he asked Risty. Risty nodded and passed it to him. She still didn't notice Charlie looking at her, totally smitten. Silver handed him a tape and he put it in, pressed the button and.the theme tune for the Smurfs came blasting out. Billy glared at Silver, who just gave him an innocent smile. Rhian and Risty burst into a fit of giggles and stuff handkerchiefs in their mouths. Billy rewound the tape a little until he found the tune he wanted. He took a deep breath and began to sing. "Brother my brother, tell me what are we fighting for? We've got to end this war. We should love one another Oh, can't we just pretend This war never began? We can try, brother my brother We face each other from different sides. The anger burns, can't remember why. It's kind of crazy to cause such pain. Our foolish pride makes us hate this way. We watch our world fall apart Tell me, what good is winning,  
  
when you lose your heart?" He switched the tape recorder off and sat down to a round of applause. Laddie growled jealously; not happy about his master getting a lot of attention from other people, but Billy petted him for a moment and he calmed down, although he still kept his head on Billy's knee. "Nice one" Risty said with a smile. "I would never have guessed that you could sing like that." "And I never knew that you could tell poems like you did." Billy replied at once. "I suppose you really do learn something new every day." "Well, we have had pieces from Master Billy, Master Col, Master Charlie, Lady Rhian and Lady Risty" Elrond told his dinner guests. "And now I believe that Lady Silver has something for us." In the distance, there was a yell and Silver guessed that Jack had something to do with it. She didn't like leaving her brother in the hands of strangers and she resolved to go and get him as soon as she had done her piece. So what if he made a mess at the table, the elves would just damn well have to accept it. She got to her feet, notebook in hand. Billy gave her an encouraging smile. "You can do it," he said quietly. "You know you can." "Yeah, get up there Silver" Risty encouraged. "And show them what a great writer you are."  
  
"Go Silver, go Silver." Rhian and Col quietly rooted, making Risty and Billy and Charlie laugh.  
  
Silver smiled at them, although it was a little shaky. Then she lowered her head to her notebook and began to read out loud the story she had worked on for the last few hours. It was a story based on a fantasy computer game that she was very fond of, and although none of them except Billy knew it, it did not matter since everything came together so clearly. It was about a young female half-elf who was torn between two males, a human sorcerer and an elven ranger. She loved both of them and did not want to hurt either of them. The other companions she travelled with, a druid, a drow elf, a human wizard, a human ranger and a fighter, all told her that she should go for the elf because they had more in common, but in the end she chose the sorcerer. It was quite a long tale, but everyone sat through it completely spellbound, just as they had been through Risty and Rhian, Col and Charlie's poems and Billy's song.  
  
When Silver finished, there was a moment's silence and everyone started clapping. As she sat down, her face bright red with embarrassment, Billy handed Jack to her.  
  
"Nice one" he said, giving her a quick hug. "I knew you could do it."  
  
"Do they get married in the end?" Pippin enquired from across the table, where he and Merry were already tucking into the food. Silver shrugged.  
  
"I don't know," she told him. "Probably. I hadn't really thought about it."  
  
"But I thought that everyone got married" Aragorn said curiously. "If you love someone then you marry them."  
  
"That is not necessarily the way it is done where we come from" Risty told them. "Sometimes people get married and sometimes they don't. It doesn't matter really."  
  
"Are any of you married?" Frodo asked. Billy, Silver, Col, Charlie, Rhian and Risty looked at each other for a moment and burst out laughing.  
  
"No," Silver said when she had calmed down. "By our laws, we are too young to get married. And none of us are in love with anyone anyway."  
  
"You must come from a very strange land," Galadriel said, exchanging a look with her husband. "Would you mind if we.?"  
  
"Lord Elrond!" Suddenly an elf ran through the door. Shadow, getting very excited, ran to greet him and tripped the poor elf over. He landed at a heap at Elrond's feet. Silver called Shadow off, while many of the others, including the fellowship and Elrond's sons were laughing at the elf. Finally the elf managed to get up, although he had turned an interesting shade of pink while doing so.  
  
"Lord Elrond" he said, trying hard to ignore the laughter around him. "I have some important news." 


	8. Chapter 8

Chaos in Middle Earth  
  
By Risty and Silver  
  
Disclaimer: You already know  
  
Summary: Hell, ask Silver.  
  
*****  
  
The elf turned from a slight shade of pink to a brilliant shade of red as he failed to ignore the laughter echoing around him. Even Elrond was having trouble keeping a straight face.  
  
"What kind of important news, Alwyn?" he asked, after he had calmed down a little.  
  
"Sir, Boromir has returned!"  
  
At that, the six friends all looked at each other in confusion. Boromir?! Wasn't he dead?  
  
"What do they mean, Boromir, Pippin?" asked Silver.  
  
"Boromir was part of our group. He returned to Gondor about six months ago. He said he'd come back. Now here he is." The youngest Hobbit said with a smile that made Risty inwardly swoon.  
  
Billy, Rhian, Charlie, Col, Risty and Silver all looked at each other.  
  
"Maybe us being here has changed events." Said Billy. Silver and Risty shrugged. The other three, who didn't know the story as well as Billy, Silver and Risty, just looked really confused.  
  
Just then, Boromir walked into the room. He looked as cute as his actor counterpart, Sean Bean, but he seemed different somehow. Sure, he didn't have arrows sticking out his chest and there were no holes. But he seemed different just looking at him.  
  
"Lord Elrond." he said, smiling at the Elf Lord. "I have returned from Gondor. My father and family send greetings to you."  
  
"Thank you, Boromir. Please sit down and enjoy dinner with us. May I introduce Lady Silver, Master Billy, Master Col, Master Charlie, Lady Rhian and Lady Risty."  
  
"Hello, where have you journeyed from?" asked Boromir as he sat next to Silver, who was beginning to go red.  
  
"Uh, you wouldn't really understand." Said Billy, smirking at Silver's reaction.  
  
Boromir shrugged and turned to Aragorn; soon, they were talking like old friends.  
  
***  
  
After dinner, Rhian, Col, Charlie, Risty and Silver and Billy walked up to their respective rooms. The boys came in to talk to the girls.  
  
"How the hell did that happen? Boromir died. So how'd he end up alive?" Billy asked.  
  
"Your guess would be as good as mine, Billy. Silver doesn't seem to mind though," said Risty, laughing at Silver's blushing face. "Anyway, this afternoon, while you were practicing your singing and Silver was writing her story, we found something in my bag."  
  
"What?" asked Silver instantly.  
  
Risty reached into her bag and undid a secret zipper that opened the false bottom of the bag. She put her hand in and pulled out three fat books. It was the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.  
  
"Why have you got those in your bag?" asked Silver, shocked.  
  
"We just found them and I remembered that I used to carry them around all the time, but my teachers didn't approve of them so I hid them in there. I guess I just remembered they were there."  
  
Billy picked up Return of the King and flipped through it.  
  
"Crap..." he said, when he stopped half way through the book.  
  
"What is it?" asked Silver, Rhian and Risty at the same time. Billy turned the book towards them. Risty read aloud the paragraph Billy was pointing to.  
  
"And there was a wonderful party, in honour of Galadriel and Celeborn. For entertainment, Elrond had invited six newcomers to Rivendell. Their names were Silver, Rhian, Risty, Col, Charlie and Billy.  
  
'Would Lady Risty and Lady Rhian care to show us their performance?' asked Elrond, smiling slightly at the girls dressed in country clothing. So Risty and Rhian ordered sound effects to play and began to recite a poem. Next Col and Charlie recited a story. After them, came Billy. He sang a song for the audience. And last but not least came Lady Silver, a talented writer who read aloud a short story of love, tragedy and fate. The six newcomers had brought dogs with them. As well as a small human child named Jack.  
  
Galadriel began to speak when suddenly an elf passed through the door, yelling something about important news."  
  
Risty finished reading. "I think this is the part where we all say holy shit and act really confused." She said.  
  
"We're part of the book now! What are we to do? How will we get back home?" asked Rhian in a stage whisper.  
  
"I have no god damn idea." Said Billy. The following silence was broken by Rhian gasping.  
  
"Are you okay?" asked Silver.  
  
"Fine..." said Rhian, trailing off. "I just twisted my ankle."  
  
"I told you not to stretch to vigorously!" exclaimed Risty.  
  
"Soh-ree Miss. I-know-all-I-see-all-don't-piss-me-off. I wanna know why we are here."  
  
"I don't know . . .but I think someone we know has something to do with it." Charlie said.  
  
"Who?" asked Risty.  
  
"I don't know, maybe Galadriel. She's always been known as a witch; maybe she had something to do with it. Like bringing us here and all. Or maybe it was Gandalf. He didn't look to surprised when they found us this afternoon."  
  
"A possibility, but rather unlikely. I mean, for Galadriel. I mean, why would she bring us here in the first place? Come to think of it, why would anyone want to bring us here?" Rhian stated.  
  
"Hoo boy, thins is gonna be harder than I thought." said Risty.  
  
Charlie flopped down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Col sat on the floor and began to play with Bindi, Buster, Laddie and Shadow. Rhian was nursing her sore ankle. Risty had started reading a new book called 'Murder on a Broomstick'. Silver was writing in her notebook. Billy joined Col on the floor and everything was fine until Jack started crying in his sleep and Silver got up to tend to him. 


End file.
